The highest rating you can receive is 5, and each encounter instantly recalculates your average social rating. Those with aggregate social ratings of 4.5 and higher enjoy special privileges. Lacie’s current rating is a 4.2, and she is determined to move into a dream apartment reserved for those who cross the 4.5 threshold.
Lacie is constantly monitoring her phone; she responds joyfully each time she receives a rating of 5.
Of course, there is a cost. Lacie is a complete phony; she presents a veneer of perpetual agreeableness and happiness.
In this dystopian world, beneath a surface cordiality rewarded by social media ratings, calculating individuals are seemingly incapable of normal friendships and true empathy for others.
Has this dystopian future already arrived?
When was the last time you compromised your own bedrock principles and values for the transitory gratification of social media validation?
Consider this extreme example. A 19-year-old Ohio woman livestreamed, on the social media site Periscope, the rape of her teenage friend. She continued the stream “because she ‘got caught up on the likes’ the video was receiving.”
Perhaps this woman believed Facebook “likes” would satisfy her need to feel connected or, as Stephen R. Covey put it, the need to be “seen.” In his book The Third Alternative, Covey contrasts two modes of social interaction: “I see you” vs “I stereotype you.”
Interacting in “I see you” mode, we demonstrate authentic respect for the unique humanity in another person. When we interact in “I stereotype you” mode we see the other as a “thing” that we categorize instead of seeing the other’s unique humanity.
The Ohio woman’s maladaptive solution to fill her void, violated the humanity of her friend. When we don’t “see” others, we cannot “see” ourselves.
A global study by the Internet security company Kaspersky Lab “found that many people will go to harmful lengths simply to win ‘likes’ from followers.”
Paradoxically, what if using social media excessively can produce feelings of isolation? A study by Dr. Brian Primack of the University of Pittsburgh found that among young adults ages 19-32, it did just that.
Dr. Primack theorized “that social media use could potentially consume a person so much that there’s little time for them to enjoy personal, real-world socializing.” Spending excessive time seeing the carefully curated lives of others “could also spark feelings of exclusion or jealousy.”
The Kaspersky Lab study of 16,750 participants found almost “60% of the participants viewed a friend as having a better life than their own simply by seeing that friend’s social media activity, and almost half were upset after viewing photos from a friend’s happy holiday celebration.”
Writing in the Atlantic Stephen Marche reports that, as measured on such scales as the UCLA Loneliness Scale, loneliness has been dramatically increasing in America. “A connection is not the same thing as a bond,” writes Marche. A study of Facebook users in Australia found, “significantly higher levels of family loneliness” compared to those who did not use Facebook.
While loneliness has been increasing there has been an explosion in the number of psychologists, social workers, life coaches, and other “psychic servants.” ..[ ]